If you’ve ever been on a low carb diet, you know how hard it is to find a decent variety of things to eat so you don’t get burned out too quickly. One of the hardest things is going without sweets or desserts. I’m not much of a sweet-eater, but after about 6 months of low-carbing it (and losing about 35 lbs I might add!) I begin to have severe chocolate withdrawals. Forget the sweets, I just want chocolate!

Among things like Hershys sugar-free dark chocolate (oh-so-good) and Russel Stovers net-carb line of products, I found Mootopia at HEB. Their chocolate Mootopia is about 11g carbs per cup. This was good, but not great. Still, a cup once in a while was acceptable – and when mixed with ice and whipped cream in a blender – a cup goes a long way towards a nice cold shake!

Then, I heard about Hood Carb Countdown products, including their 4g net carb chocolate milk! Yes, 4g per cup! Roger then tells me this is what he’s been getting at his local Krogers store. So I went to get some for myself, only to find a dairy dept worker who thinks the product has been discontinued.

So, 2 more Krogers later I give up – they are all out and no longer carry it.

Then, Rogers store stops carrying it and tells him they’ve discontinued it – so he contacted Kroger and Hood. After getting the usual “We’ll pass this complaint on to your local district manager to ignore” letter from Kroger, he gets a nice reply from Hood telling him the product is most certainly not discontinued, the store has just chosen not to carry it any longer. However, their carb countdown products are available at Wally World. (aka Wal Mart)

Roger said his did indeed carry it, and lots of it! So, I decided I would take my chances at some point this weekend and attempt a visit to the local white trash shopping festival. (note: I’m sure not all Wal-Marts are like mine, Roger even says his is much nicer – but every Wal-Mart I’ve been to in the city has been cram packed with hillbilly, nasty-haired, green-teeth, white-trash, dating their sister, 15 kids in tow kinds of people. The employees aren’t much better, and there’s usually 3-4 of their 20+ lanes open, with about 30 people in each line)

So, I thought I’d be smart and go late at night – after all, they are open 24 hours! I realized my mistake about 11:30pm as I nearly ran over some thug and his two hoes, erm, I mean girlfriends – who were aimlessly wandering across the Wal-Mart parking lot. After fighting with several people just to get TO a parking space, I make my way cautiously towards the front door. It seems most of the people in cars there don’t understand the concept of going down an isle, finding an empty spot, and parking in it – instead they circle around the lot or up and down the isles very slowly then stop at the front door for a few minutes until either the person they are waiting on comes out or the person they are blocking honks at them.

I find my prize in the back of the store in the dairy section, and grab 2 chocolate half-gallons and 1 2% regular half gallon of the same carb-countdown brand. (which only has 3g carbs) and head back towards the checkout lanes. In my haste to get in, get out, and stay alive, I neglected to get a basket or buggy to carry my treasure in. I realized this was a mistake after standing in the “quick checkout” lane about 5 minutes. I wasn’t about to lose my position in line now, so I readjusted the load I was carrying and tried to ignore the children screaming in the next line because their mother was too preoccupied looking at the sleaze mags to slap them…

As I looked around, I saw the diversity of annoyances, stupidity and trash that frequent this place. Families of 10+ children fighting with each other, destroying merchandise they don’t intend to buy, and being a general nuisance while mommy and daddy fight or just ignore them.

Peggy-Sue and her white-trash boyfriend – or brother-in-law – who don’t seem to be aware they are in public, as evident by the way they constantly groped and slobbered all over once another – not to mention the mussy hair and dirty clothes. This so reminds me of my family – bad memories there! Not even so much as 5 minutes was put into their preparing to go out, just throw anything on, spit out the tobaco, and go.

Junior with his 300lb pot-belly in a shirt rated for a 150lb man, and his two 12-packs of beer. Again with the mussy hair and dirty clothes, but what do you expect on a weekend? He’s not going to wear his only good pair of clothes, they only have a few stains on them and thats got to last all of next week if possible.

Shaniqua and her slutty friends, wearing barely enough clothing to be legal in public and heels so high they have to duck in doorways. Looking for attention from anyone who will give it, and for the right price, offering more than their mother ever gave their father.

When I finally made it to the counter, I put down my milk, swiped my card, signed my name, grabbed my bags and headed towards the door – never once hearing so much as a peep out of Keisha who seemed so very pleased disgusted with working there at a quarter till midnight.

On my way home, I started to wonder if it’s worth it for me to have to deal with the stupidity and fustrations, not to mention the danger to my life being out in that neighborhood… I was still contemplating this as I poured a glass of chocolate milk and sat down with some sugar free reeces penut butter cups, when I realized… Yes it most certainly is worth it!

Hmmm…. chocolate!